Known Issues: A Letter

I just got this letter from The Mysterious-Druid:

Dear Jonas,

While those incredibly unpleasant goons were rampaging through Underhome, a number of bugs must have crept in from the outside and dug themselves into the portal. As a result, there are some minor problems here and there, though thankfully nothing that could keep anyone from coming over and helping us. Here’s a list:

  • Patrick’s food doesn’t disappear from the inventory after you give it to him. Mostly this is because Patrick is so nice and wants you to keep some of it, but really the portal shouldn’t let him do that.
  • The amulet in Olwynion reappears after it’s been handed to Borin. Well, it’s actually a chameleon mushroom and not the actual amulet, but it’s confusing.
  • When using the alchemy machines, it is possible to accidentally summon or create various creatures, including a bear. Some of them then refuse to leave, forcing the portal’s user to close it and restart. The autosave feature means that this isn’t actually a terrible problem, but it’s still inconvenient, so some kind of Bear Suppression Code is necessary.
  • In some cases, the Wall of Text has some issues which remind me of the creatures you call ‘typos’. I don’t know if they’re related to the bugs I mentioned before (perhaps they are larvae?), but I thought it would be prudent to remove them.
  • In one case, the Oracle does not wish to talk about Mayor Kranion. She was a bit grumpy but I’ve talked to her and it will be alright.
  • The music volume resets to maximum in unpredictable ways. This is because one of the bugs is tickling the musical instruments in the portal.

All in all, I’m actually surprised the bugs haven’t done more damage. I feel bad about allowing them into the portal, of course, but the circumstances were so extreme that I’m rather glad I managed to create the portal at all. Anyway, I’m sending you some genetic material you can put into your end of the portal that should fix these issues. It should arrive in a couple of days.

Yours sincerely,

The Mysterious-Druid

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10 Comments

  1. Ladies and gentlemen, Jonas Kyratzes, master of diegesis.

  2. James Patton

     /  May 27, 2012

    It’s very kind of The to worry about evicting these bugs when he has so much on his plate.

    Does he specify how this genetic material will be assimilated into our portals? I assume it will be grafted or “patched” on?

  3. lin

     /  May 27, 2012

    Just lovely. 🙂

  4. Those clever chameleon mushrooms. I thought one snuck into my inventory and turned into Patrick’s meal.

    By the way, when I handed the black puppy (who sets off my internal Grammar Nazi alarms) his dog food, he did not give me anything in return, and after it took me so long to figure out where the adapter was. See if I help him again.

  5. puppeh

     /  May 27, 2012

    ai doez give u somethingz! u come to me when u needz dog hair and ai give u! ai iz good puppeh.

  6. Isi

     /  May 27, 2012

    I understand you and The must be terribly stressed trying to coordinate the portal and making sure it works smoothly. I regret to add that I may have found another of these pesky bugs: Medusa doesn’t seem to want to wish me goodbye. Which is unfortunate; she otherwise seemed rather friendly when I spoke with her before.

  7. Michelle

     /  May 28, 2012

    The Moddey Dhoo has no need for grammar! He is the deathly fiend, the beast of Peel Castle, the great Black Dog that roams the halls and appears at midnight sprinting across the beach before vanishing in the moonlight. He laughs at your grammar! 🙂

    Ahhh, I’ve been meaning to write about how much I loved it, Jonas. THANK YOU for putting Mannanan and good old Moddey in the game. Although I did so want to help dear Mannanan, I wished there was more I could do for him. He was the one I really had to go and say goodbye to (Moddey’s goodbye was ominous but fitting…)

    Although the amount of politics in the game wasn’t and isn’t my cup of tea, that’s a personal thing rather than a reflection on the game. I like games to feel like an escape, like an emotional journey, which it is but… as soon as there are a certain amount of political references I just kind of go cross-eyed and wobbly because that’s just how I get about politics. I really did enjoy it though, and I think now that I know where to expect the politics to appear, I can play it again and feel the other bits more clearly.

    Oh, and I got stuck at two points; the first, I had no idea I could use the map to travel (though I suspect I missed some instruction in the dialogue- trigger happy fingers made me miss some important bits and bobs.) I had to exit the game and get all frustrated until I finally got it. The other bit was the cave. That damned cave! I spent hours clicking everything in every single panel looking for anything I might have missed! Then I spent days leaving the game, coming back to it, getting cross, leaving again… when I finally realised, I felt so bloody silly. I laughed.

  8. Purposely bad grammar stops being funny to you when you have to deal with idiots in IRC chats who think talking like a toddler makes them adorable. Who even pronounces the short I sound like an EH anyway? When I hear it in my head, I think of someone trying to force a lot of air out of their lungs to speak.

    I’m not sure if this is a bug or not but I have no idea what to do with the finger food, the guy who originally asked for it doesn’t take it, or talk about it. Are some of these dead-end situations on purpose? I still love the game, I’m just really confused. I might start a new one and see if it’s not just me.

  9. Although the amount of politics in the game wasn’t and isn’t my cup of tea, that’s a personal thing rather than a reflection on the game. I like games to feel like an escape, like an emotional journey, which it is but… as soon as there are a certain amount of political references I just kind of go cross-eyed and wobbly because that’s just how I get about politics. I really did enjoy it though, and I think now that I know where to expect the politics to appear, I can play it again and feel the other bits more clearly.

    I’m sure all the characters would also prefer the game not to have that political content, in the same way that I wish I didn’t have to deal with politics in my life. But that’s the essence of the story, and of what Urizen means to the world – dealing with politics is unavoidable, even in the Lands of Dream. But if we don’t, if we allow Urizen to just keep taking everything over, then even the Lands of Dream will fall.

    Who even pronounces the short I sound like an EH anyway?

    Why, a dog does, of course!

    I’m not sure if this is a bug or not but I have no idea what to do with the finger food, the guy who originally asked for it doesn’t take it, or talk about it.

    Thou must read more carefully! That character didn’t ask for finger food, he just gave you the recipe. The finger food isn’t for him, it’s for… well… obviously, being finger food, it’s for something with fingers! Big fingers!

  10. L

     /  May 28, 2012

    I just noticed something else that was peculiar: the red peppers have the image of the pyro poppies when viewed in the backpack. Understandable, as both are red plants known for their heat.