Oneiropolis Compendium: Kohlrabian Dialecticus

Kohlrabian Dialecticus is generally considered to be one of the most important academics of the Lands of Dream. Though he chooses to live in his beloved Southern Belzoond, his contributions to the academic output of Oneiropolis University should never be underestimated, neither in terms of his own work nor in terms of his support of the work of others. There are literally dozens of books that could never have existed without his editorial guidance.

For this he has gained the respect of many of his peers – though of course, academics being what they are, he has gained an equal amount of hate, vitriol and death threats. The latter mostly came from a certain postmodernist professor who was secretly in the employ of Urizen, before said entity had openly declared war on Oneiropolis; they ended when, while attempting to erase Dialecticus from existence by changing the discourse of reality, the professor was fatally deconstructed by the same laundry van that ran over Roland Barthes.

Southern Belzoond, as has been extensively documented elsewhere, is now under occupation by the forces of Urizen. Dialecticus has refused to move, however, and his tower has become a refuge for members of the local resistance. Whether Urizen will allow this situation to continue is unclear, but for the moment we can be thankful that voices of true reason continue to exist in this age of increasingly unsubtle tyranny.

Major works:

  • Oneiropolis: Metropolis of Dreams
  • History of the Gnomes: A Marxist Perspective
  • Celephaïs: The Unknown History
  • The Fragmented City: Towards a New Definition of the Urban Community
  • Urban Sprawl in the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros: Myths, Facts and Political Substructures

As contributor or editor (a small selection):

  • Maps of Southern Belzoond (University of Dunsany) [editor]
  • Ombria City Map (Shadow Edition) [contributor]
  • London: Myth or Reality, by Maxine Superfluous Surname [foreword]
  • The Complete History of Katsouli, by Mick Rogataki [editor]
  • Oneiropolis University Guide to Classic Interactive Fiction [editor]
  • Geographical Analysis of the Drakalor Chain (Third Edition), by Thomas Biscuit [editor]
  • Oneiropolis University Guide to Middle-earth (Fifty-Second Edition) [contributor]
  • Oneiropolis University Guide to the Imaginary Cities of Ooomba [editor]
  • Book of Opinions of the People of the Ideal City (Revised Edition), by Abu Nasr Muhammad ibn al-Farakh al-Farabi [foreword]
  • Stalin: That Idiot, by Vladimir Ilyich Lenin [editor]

This entry in the Oneiropolis Compendium was made possible by the Gnome of Gnome’s Lair.

You too can support the Compendium by keeping its creators from starving.



  1. BiggerJ

    Has your internet situation improved? It would be terrible if your publisher dropped its deal with you because you couldn’t upload the images.

    Are we allowed to make make multiple donations to get multiple entries, or is it one entry per person? I don’t want anything snail-mailed to me, but I’ll gladly pay twenty at a time.

    I’m sorely tempted to pay for an entry about URIZEN, but that would probably result in the erasure of the internet, so that’s a no-go. He’s like the Anti-Zalgo – at least Zalgo’s creative.

  2. Nah, no worries, our publisher is really nice. The delays did sort of affect the release date, though, which is a shame but can’t be helped. (There are other factors, too, so it’s not too bad.) We’re currently using a mobile internet stick thing with extremely limited bandwidth.

    Yes, multiple donations are just fine. We really don’t mind snail-mailing things, but if you insist you don’t want one, sure.

    I don’t know if I could write an entry about Urizen… yet. Someday there will be a book called Oneiropolis, a book so complicated in its structure it will be quite mad, and I think that book will tell us a lot about him. If not, he might always have something dedicated to him alone.

  3. BiggerJ

    Will you still be getting your usual internet back on December?

    I agree with you about Urizen. He’s hard to describe, like… like a reverse Cthulhu. A cosmic mundanity instead of a cosmic horror. A being of unspeakable sanity.

    I’ll probably donate $20 per entry. You deserve it.

  4. BiggerJ

    Actually, more than twenty at a time. But I’d still like to know how to give my request when I donate and how specific/general to make it. I don’t think it’s possible to put it as a comment with the PayPal transfer.

  5. @BiggerJ: If your paypal email is the same as your regular email, you’ll get a message from me after you donate, asking for details. (Might take a few hours due to my limited internet access). You can also post here, or send me an email yourself – I’m flexible.

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