Diary Of A Man Trapped By A Cat

17:19

The cat has climbed into a drawer behind my chair and is sleeping on Verena’s clothing. Well, not exactly sleeping, more like meditating. She does not like being disturbed, so I can’t move.

 

17:20

A minute has passed, but I’m still trapped.

 

17:22

It’s beginning to look like there’s no way out. She’s lying at an especially cute angle now, making it impossible for me to interrupt her cuteness with my foolish human movement.

 

17:24

I’m beginning to lose track of time. Trying to keep myself sane by refreshing the same three pages over and over.

 

17:25

It’s not working.

 

17:26

I’m starting to see things.

 

17:30

It’s been such a long time. I don’t even remember my name anymore. Who am I? There are kittens everywhere. They’re telling me to vote for The Sea Will Claim Everything on Greenlight. I don’t know what Greenlight is, but it frightens me.

 

17:31

The kittens are complaining about my list of my Top 10 favourite indie games of 2012, reminding of all the great games I left off the list. The guilt is too much to bear.

 

17:33

How can the kittens talk? They’re too young to be talking. Am I going insane?

 

17:34

Now they’re saying something about the Magic Tree Discount on reddit. First green, now red. Green red green red green red.

 

17:35

They want me to write a retrospective. I’m trying. I’m trying, damn you! Stop that infernal purring!

 

17:36

I think one of the kittens is Greek. It’s asking me questions.

 

17:40

I need to… something… the food…

 

17:44

The Greenlight! The Greenlight has come for me!

 

17:45

No, no, it’s still only at 30% of the way to the Top 100… useless… it’s all useless… green red green red green red…

 

17:47

Why do the kittens have thumbs?

 

17:50

It’s not a drawer. It’s a portal.

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1 Comment

  1. Very funny! I have 3 cats and I know how you are feeling.