The whole tooth disaster has kind of thrown everything into confusion here, and we’re still trying to catch up. So many boring things need to be done: the flat needs to be cleaned, paperwork taken care of, that sort of thing. And we also have to work on creative or at least creativity-related issues: sending Verena’s novel out to agents, and finishing my own novel. (And a couple of other things I’m working on, that I’ll say more about later.)
It’s all kind of shitty right now, though. The weather is incredibly depressing; three weeks of sunshine just aren’t enough, and no matter how much I try to ignore it, I feel this underlying sense of heaviness, of being in the wrong place. Verena feels much the same. The money situation could also be better, and I fear looking for yet another mind-numbing job will soon be a priority. I don’t mind working, and working hard (we did 36-hour days in the theatre and never complained), but I wish I could do something I’m actually good at.
I haven’t lost faith. Watching Believe: The Eddie Izzard Story (a documentary about Eddie Izzard’s life) reminded me just how many times the people I admire fell on their faces before they got the chance to do what they wanted, and that no matter how many people tell you that you’re mad, that doesn’t mean they’re right.
But man, we’ve been working at this for a long time, and the dark days sure are dark…
Well, fuck that. Back to work.