And a thought for the new year…

Note: This was originally going to be a short post, but as you can see it turned out rather long. It’s not a full and perfectly detailed scientifc/philosophical essay about this topic. Maybe one day I’ll actually write one of those – there’s certainly enough to say. But the main point is there.

There’s something which has been causing me quite a large amount of anxiety lately: fanatics.

No, not the terrorist kind. Not that I find any of those particularly wonderful, but at least I can understand why people whose countries have been invaded and bombed and oppressed for decades now might be a little pissed off.

Neither am I talking about the Christian type of fanatic, though I find those equally problematic.

I’m talking about Richard Dawkins.

Richard Dawkins, that is, and the group of so-called scientists and philosophers that are the big public defenders of atheism and disparagers of religion nowadays. Don’t misunderstand me, though: it doesn’t bother me that they are promoting atheism. It bothers me that they are promoting atheism. And how.

I really do wish good old G.K. Chesterton was still alive. Yes, he was a Catholic, and no, I’m not one, but he could poke holes in modern philosophical thought like no other. His faculties of reason and humanity were gigantic, and his ability to express these values far beyond mine.

Let’s see.

I quite like Stephen Jay Gould, but I don’t buy his idea of religion and science being non-overlapping magisteria. Science does have something to say about religion, and religion cannot claim the absolute historical truth about its holy books. Creationism is bullshit and will always remain such. I don’t think religion and science have to be best buddies. And, for the record, I am and remain agnostic. And I maintain that more often than not, religion has played a big part in oppressing people and ideas.

But I do have enough sense not to simply dismiss all religion as superstition. I may choose to believe that every single aspect of a religion is untrue, just as I may believe that Bill Maher is wrong in his libertarian politics. But that doesn’t mean that I think Bill Maher is a complete idiot. I may not choose to believe in an almighty creator, but if someone looks at this astonishingly complex universe of ours, and believes that it must have a creator, then I can understand that. Because I can understand human thought. Because I can value human consciousness.

Those, on the other hand, who dismiss all religion as stupidity and superstition, are quite simply dismissing a huge part of human thought and human philosophy extending back to the very beginning of our species. They dismiss the beauty and power of many religious stories simply because the stories didn’t actually happen – so what? Even if there never was a Jesus, that doesn’t make the Gospels any less powerful – just like the nonexistence of Zeus and the Greek gods doesn’t make the Iliad less amazing. Truth has many aspects, and historical truth is only one of them.

But it’s more than just this that bothers me. I talked very much like Dawkins when I was 16, and that’s OK – if you’re 16. No, the problem goes much further than just the philosophical fallacy of dismissing everything you disagree with as worthless.

It’s not good science.

Science is based on the principle of observation: it is an attemt to chronicle and exlain the facts as they are. You observe the world and from that you derive hypotheses about the nature of things, which you attempt to turn into theories by supplying proof. But you do not try to read your philosophy into the world, and then try to justify it. That’s what a fanatic does, not a scientist.

Take the whole idea of the meme, for example. It’s nonsense – an absurd idea that reduces the complexity of human experience and culture to something that will fit neatly into Dawkins’ debatable ideas about the nature of evolution. It throws all the work done over the last three thousand or so years out the window in the name of a simplicity that obscures instead of illuminating our understanding of humanity. It throws out sociology, it throws out politics, it throws out cultural studies, and mainly it throws out history. (Even if it sometimes claims that it doesn’t.) It denies two essential things: the complexity and interconnectedness of human culture, and more importantly, human awareness and thought.

Looking at genes the way he does is one thing. I think it’s debatable, personally. But that’s another issue, and I may very well be wrong there. (Verena, innocently reading one of his books without having any opinions about Dawkins – but knowing a lot about biology – told me that she thought that most of his arguments were missing big chunks and often ended with “and this is true because I say so.”)

Dawkins thinks religion is an evolutionary by-product coming from the fact that our ancestors had a genetic advantage if they believed their elders. Daniel Dennett thinks it’s the result of “misplaced intentionality”, that is the result of the human tendency to assign actions that they cannot understand to an active agent, i.e. a god or spirit. None of them, however, seem capable of thinking that religion has something to do with humanity’s desire for understanding, with human thought. In all their descriptions, they are essentially taking humans out of the equation. But humans aren’t genes. We are conscious. We think.

William Blake said that to generalize is to be an idiot, and to particularize alone is the distinction of merit. I mostly agree. Of course, when it comes to science, a certain amount of generalization is necessary. This is fine and normal with the natural sciences – but not when it comes to humanity. To look at the history of religion in terms of memes tells us nothing. It is essentially an ahistorical approach that disregards a great many aspects – from economics and politics (the use of religion to oppress, the tendency of the poor and despairing to turn to religion; the socio-historical conditions in general) to the actual philosophies involved. Of course, for the fanatic all religions amount to the same – a senseless belief in the supernatural – but that is simply nonsensical. If you can’t see the profound differences in philosophy between the many religions, then you simply don’t know what you’re talking about anymore. And if you can’t see religion as part of history, and history as a very specific series of events, the one based upon the other, a sequence of cause and event (and human agency) then you’re lost in a realm of abstraction that has little to do with reality.

(This also leads to some fairly unpleasant political ideas. Dawkins will easily accept that problems regarding Islamic people are derived from Islam, throwing out history and politics in the process, and presenting an utterly simplistic portrait of human nature. The same goes for many other scientists and philosophers of this direction.)

The problem with both memetics and evolutionary psychology is that they do not begin by observing reality, but by what certain scientists want the truth to be. From there they proceed with a ridiculous attempt to cram everything into one system. Every aspect of human behaviour must have a biological origin. But this is manifestly idiotic – we are capable of thought, of self-reflection. We do things for a multiplicity of reasons, not all of which are immediately apparent, or the same in all people. Furthermore, the best things that we do we do for no reason at all. That’s something believers in evolutionary psychology cannot comprehend, because it doesn’t fit into their religion. Precisely because we are thinking creatures, we do a great many things that have no purpose but themselves. Art, in all its forms, is meaningless. We have reasons for doing it, of course, but those are not evolutionary. Love is meaningless. Horniness isn’t – our sex drives are most definitely biological. But to think that sex and love are the same is as silly as to think they have no relation at all. Rituals. There are official reasons for rituals, and there is a history to rituals, but the point of most rituals is actually the ritual. Finding an evolutionary reason for that is silly. Finding a psychological and philosophical one is wise.

Another good example is the existence of, shall we say, “free thought”. Yes, there may be limitations in terms of brain damage, and what our brain may be genetically hardwired to do – sometimes we can overcome these, sometimes we can’t. But the reality of our ability to think freely is something that, like gravity, cannot be denied. The fanatic’s response to this is essentially to wildly proclaim that it isn’t true, instead of investigating why it is and how. “Death, disease, insanity, are merely material accidents, like a toothache or a twisted ankle. That these brutal forces always besiege and often capture the citadel does not prove that they are the citadel.” said Chesterton. You may agree or disagree, but when it comes to the human ability to think – and other issues – more than a few believers in evolutionary psychology seem to be proclaiming the citadel nonexistent when they are, in fact, repeatedly walking face-first into it.

The problem, to me, with the celebrity defenders of atheism is that they are religious. They are fanatics. They’ve thrown science out the window and replaced it with a pseudoscience that will result in nothing but mechanical half-baked truths. They’re not arguing from the position of pure awe and wonder at the universe of a Carl Sagan, or the belief in humanity’s worth of an Isaac Asimov, but from a rather confused desire to see their own little religion win the day, because it is more reasonable. In doing so, they sound more than a little like the Christians of the past few centuries talking about the savages.

Nowhere has this become more clear to me, incidentally, than in Richard Dawkins’ latest statements about his desire to investigate the potential harmfulness of fairy-tales. Everything is encapsulated here: the dismissal of human culture, the inability to understand the multiple layers of meaning attached to most things (the frog turning into a prince isn’t just about a frog, as I suppose anyone could tell you) and the essential dismissal of the human ability to think (so what if a child believes a frog can turn into a man – does this really make us that much more gullible, or is it part of our evolution as individuals?). It’s a dismissal of thought and, even more dangerously, of imagination.

I don’t think that any of these people mean badly. I’m sure Dawkins is kind to furry animals and mostly a progressive-thinking man, even if his fanaticism prevents him from analyzing the world in a more complex way. But we live at a time where we need voices speaking out for reason, we need voices speaking out against fanaticism. And yes, we need eloquent atheists who say that the universe can be perfectly wonderful without a god or gods. But voices like Dawkins’ may convert, but they won’t enlighten.

I’m not saying science needs to be respectful of religion. But it does need to be respectful of two things: human intelligence, and scientific principles. Ditching those in order to achieve a victory for science is like ditching freedom to win a victory for democracy. The end cannot be achieved without the means.

Welcome to 2009

Looking back, 2008 was an odd year. Interesting, sure, but odd. Not exactly easy, either – but it did pass rather quickly, unlike some other years. So, here are some of the good things that I will remember:

  • Verena and I got engaged.
  • The month we spent in Greece was also nice, if not as nice as the year before.
  • Verena finished writing her novel.
  • I finished The Strange and Somewhat Sinister Tale of the House at Desert Bridge, to positive (if limited) reactions.
  • I worked quite a bit on my novel. I’m sad that it’s not done yet, but it’s easily my most ambitious project so far, so it’s OK. It’s just enormously complicated to write, even though I’m hoping that it will be enormously easy to read.
  • Our cat continued being most cute and wonderful, and has grown to be even more human-centered than before. (Just don’t tell her I said so. She’s still a cat.)
  • We watched quite a few excellent movies, including Terra, possibly the best film I saw in 2008, and one of the best science-fiction films I have ever seen.
  • We didn’t do any theatrework. I do miss it quite terribly on the one hand, but on the other I am glad that I didn’t have to deal with any of the rumour-mongering back-stabbing bullshit that has become so prevalent there.
  • We went to London twice – one to see Stephen Fry’s Cinderella panto (awesome), and once to see Hellboy II (not so awesome, unfortunately). Both times proved rather stressful, but there are plenty of good memories to make up for that.
  • I discovered the music of The Nightwatchman (thanks, Ivo!) and became a huge fan.
  • I finished running my second pen & paper RPG campaign and started on the third. To people not involved in this sort of thing it may not mean much, but I can say that it was a great, if sometimes frustrating (on an organizational level) experience. The story that was told was epic, tragic, funny and full of wonderful moments and characters. It confirmed in my mind that role-playing, at its best, is something very much like improvisational theatre, only bigger and more structured and more dramatic. It is a game that has the potential to become something akin to the storytelling of old.
  • I read a lot of good books. I can’t remember them all right now, but some I really enjoyed were Stephen King’s On Writing, G.K. Chesterton’s Orthodoxy and Heretics, Max Brooks’ World War Z and E.R. Eddison’s The Worm Ouroboros.
  • Verena and I played a lot of computer games together. (In many cases thanks to Ivo, who got the damn things running.) We were generally disappointed by Fallout 3 and Oblivion, but did get several hours of fun out of them. Despite its flaws, Verena played Oblivion through and through, finishing every single mission (except the Dark Brotherhood ones) and finding every single location. Fallout 3‘s crappy storyline and horribly disappointing ending kind of prevented that sort of thing, which is a shame, since it’s the better of the two games otherwise. But Verena also spent a great deal of time playing Fallout 2, which remains as fantastic as ever. And I had a great deal of fun with the underrated Dark Messiah of Might and Magic. Ah, kicking people down places…
  • We also played a great deal of X-Com: Apocalypse, and will continue to do so in the next year.
  • Despite the great tragedy that precipitated the riots, the people of Greece reminded me of what I like about them: when the time comes, they’ll stand up for what’s right. Sure, the country’s got plenty of idiots (just like every other country, obviously), but you won’t see people taking to the streets in the same way in Germany, no matter what happens.
  • But the best part of the year was that I spent 99.9% of the time with Verena, even managing to go along to university with her a number of times, sitting outside and writing while she was in her seminars. We really spend only a very small amount of time apart – never willingly – and despite doing so for several years now, we have not grown even remotely bored of each other. Not that this comes as a surprise to me; when we were first falling in love, the following thought crossed my mind: what if the afterlife consisted of you and one other person, sitting in a dark room together for all eternity? And the answer is: if that person was Verena, I would be perfectly fine. Because we could talk to each other, tell each other stories and jokes and exchange ideas literally forever, and we wouldn’t get bored. I’ve always thought this would be a good philosophical question for people to ask themselves when they are thinking about a relationship.

So, I guess we’ll see where 2009 will take us. Ten minutes into the new year, my friend Julian called me to say that he felt that this would be a really great year. Now, having known him for many years, and knowing what he’s usually like, that either means it will be an amazing year or it will be the end of the world.

Possibly both.

Operation Cast Lead, and Hitler smiling

Israel threatens ground invasion of Gaza

Saturday’s “Operation Cast Lead” was a brutal instance of collective punishment of Gaza’s 1.5 million inhabitants. It involved 64 aircraft dropping more than 100 tons of explosives, the largest Israeli operation against Gaza since 1967. The death toll includes women and children.

The fatalities also include three senior Hamas officers. Known Hamas facilities were targeted, but residential areas were hit even near schools and hospitals. Hamas said all of Gaza’s security compounds were destroyed. An estimated two thirds of the casualties were police officers or members of the various Hamas security forces, according to a senior Gazan medical official.

The Los Angeles Times reported that Gaza’s hospitals have been “overwhelmed by casualties.” Reporting how the Israelis targeted graduation day at Gaza City’s main police station, the newspaper described “the bloodied bodies of dozens of dead and wounded young Palestinian men in black uniforms, as survivors rushed to assist the injured….

[…]

Since June 2007, when Hamas thwarted a planned Fatah coup against it by seizing control of Gaza, Israel has mounted a blockade to deny Gazans all but the most essential provisions. Basic services such as water, sewage and electricity have been cut for up to 16 hours a day. Raw sewage runs through the streets. At least 50 percent of the adult population is unemployed, and 80 percent of the population lives below the poverty line.

Earlier this month, Gaza’s banks had all but run out of cash as a result of Israel’s restrictions, leading to the closure of all banks and cash machines. The United Nations Relief and Works Agency was forced to suspend the distribution of cash to 94,000 Palestinians.

I wonder what those poor people in the German ghettos in the 1940s would think if you told them that their plight would lead to another population being treated just like them, prisoners in their own country, and that the greatest crime of the 20th century would be used to dismiss any criticism as anti-semitic?

To criticize Israel for its racist and quasi-genocidal policies is anti-Semitic in the same way that criticizing Hitler was anti-German: only in the minds of the stupid and the hypocritical. If we have learned anything, anything from the horrors of World War II, that should be it. But apparently all we have learned is that dropping bombs on people solves problems. The thing is this: that’s what Hitler thought, too. And I can almost imagine that old fuckhead smiling at his legacy to the world.

The Mysterious Update of Your Uncle Robert, the Arachnid

And now for some fascinating update-type things:

  • For those of you who have been having problems running Desert Bridge, there now is an alternative version of the executable. I am not guaranteeing that it will work – in fact, I have no idea. But it might, and it certainly won’t do anything the previous version didn’t do – so give it a shot, and let me know if it works.
  • This isn’t really fascinating, but I updated the normal version of Desert Bridge, too. The update fixes two typos and a bug which allowed you to have multiple Potions of Ni and then caused problems when you drank a second one.

In other news, one of the most amusing things about being a game developer is hilarious reviews like this one on Download.com:

“DO NOT DOWNLOAD!!!”
by darciakiba on December 26, 2008
Pros: None unless you are a 3 year old kid
Cons: Poor graphics
Gameplay is hopelessly BORING
Summary: That game is a stimulus for yawns

See, if this was someone else’s work that I really cared about (anything from Babylon 5 to The Last Unicorn to Photopia), I would be angry about some people’s inability to actually look at something without sticking it into superficial categories and then dismissing it. But since the game is my own, this kind of review not only does not offend, but makes me giggle. It’s not as delicious as the one about The Museum of Broken Memories, which complained about not being able to find the button for shooting, but still – in an odd way, it’s very, very funny.

I can’t say that I always feel like this – there are days when making games seems incredibly unrewarding and frustrating – but it’s rather pleasant when I do.

And a nice day to you, too.

Post-Christmas Post

Yes.

I don’t have much to say right now. Christmas was fun – managed to surprise Verena with some nice presents, including two signed/personalized copies of Peter S. Beagle books. Also got some cool stuff, the best of which was a collection of Eddie Izzard DVDs. Izzard is my all-time favourite stand-up comedian, and I highly recommend his work, especially Definite Article, Dress to Kill and Glorious. His sense of humour is almost identical to mine, down to how he structures his jokes. The only real difference between us is in the clothing.

Anyway, here’s Eddie talking about Pavlov’s Cats. Enjoy. If you’ve ever known a cat, you will know how real this is.

Also finally managed to download X-Com: Apocalypse off Steam (I have the original, but getting it to run is hard as hell) and Verena and I are now playing it and having a lot of fun. They really don’t make them like they used to. This makes recent strategy games look like Minesweeper.

Will write again soon, with stuff that is actually interesting.

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to everyone!

…and some very, very special greetings to the Greek government, the slave-drivers of capitalism. In this festive season, I hope you rot in hell.

The rest of us – take care, be merry, and eat well.

(And this remains the most hilarious Christmas song of all time.)

Strange Problems

A small percentage of people have been unable to play Desert Bridge because of a very, very bizarre problem. I have conducted a number of tests to find out what is causing the problem, but have only found some small hints. It looks like some systems can’t deal with the window type that Desert Bridge uses – this might have something to do with other bits of software installed on them, but that’s not certain (at all). So I’m working on an alternate version of the executable that will look slightly less pretty, but might work. I’ll upload it as soon as it’s done, and then we’ll see whether it works or not. I hope it will.

An Icon Passes

The one and only Majel Barrett-Roddenberry has died at the age of 76. To anyone who knew her work, from Star Trek to Babylon 5, she was not only an icon of science fiction and an enormously talented and underrated actress, but also a symbol of humour and humanity.

She goes now to join the Great Bird of the Galaxy. May they have fun.

It’ll start with a spark, and a great fire will grow…

We know through painful experience that freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed.
– Martin Luther King, Jr.

It is a time for martyrs now, and if I am to be one, it will be for the cause of brotherhood. That’s the only thing that can save this country.
– Malcolm X

If you take a step towards freedom, it’ll take two steps towards you.
– The Nightwatchman

Review! Art! Colours! RIOTS!

The Independent Gaming Source has written a review of Desert Bridge.

The Strange and Somewhat Sinister Tale of the House at Desert Bridge (a name so long it breaks TIGdb) is one bloody funny adventure game. Even as a Yank, I feel I can inoffensively use the word “bloody” in this situation, because Desert Bridge employs a kind of droll, British humor that is genuinely infectious. Seriously, the amount of wordplay, puns, and nonsense in the game is staggering – it really takes absurdism to a whole new level, even for a genre that is kind of heavy on it.

All I can say is… wheee! After a long and very stressful week, and a Saturday spent trying to conjure up the energy to do something, anything – this has really made my day. Thank you TIGSource, thank you Derek Yu and thank you Gregory!

And now for something no sane person should ever do: I will comment on a comment. Yes, I know it is futile. I know this is how flamewars start (not that the person this is about is likely to read my blog, but you never know). And I know it is utterly pointless to take random online meanness seriously. The thing is, I don’t. Once you’ve had someone complain that they couldn’t figure out how to shoot in The Museum of Broken Memories, levity ensues. The reason I am going to comment is because this matter interests me in terms of game design.

The first comment on the review reads:

Shitty crayon drawings by an eight year old for game graphics; another indie gaming masterpiece.

I was not surprised by this. Not just because trolls and braindead people will always be around, but because we had anticipated this type of response from the moment we began designing the game. (The next comment, by the way, made me giggle. It still does, actually. Not so much because it defends my game, but because of the sheer beauty of a successful sarcastic put-down.)

As some of you may know, the artist credited on the game is Verena Huber. Verena is not only not eight years old, she is also someone who can draw professionally. She studies the badly named discipline of “Interior Architecture” (not interior design, though a lot of people often think so; not even necessarily related to interiors; essentially just architecture for smaller buildings) where things such as drawing (and photography, design, and a host of other skills) are part of your professional skills. And she’s good at it. She can draw things that take my breath away. And she can paint the most amazing things, too.

Why then do the graphics look like that? Because that’s what I asked for. I wanted the cartoon-like simplicity. I wanted the thick outlines and strong colours. Because that is what is appropriate for this game. If you were to replace the graphics with more “realistic” (a poor, much-abused word) ones, the game would lose half its charm. Half or more of its insane humour would stop working. Hell, an entire room in the game (trying to avoid spoilers here) would stop working. It wouldn’t feel like the lands of dream anymore, and the game would be pointless.

A lot of people seem to have completely lost the ability to think about graphics logically. We judge graphics by things like resolution and animation and physics and whether or not they’re 3D. You may judge an engine by those aspects, but graphics? It’s as ridiculous as blaming The Beauty and the Beast for not being live action, or the Mona Lisa for not being a photograph. Graphics should be judged by whether they are appropriate and whether they work. We may have different tastes and opinions there, and that’s perfectly fine – but hating a game for its type of graphics rather than their quality is just plain dumb. Especially if you haven’t even played the damn thing, and only looked at a screenshot on a website.

Me, I have a thick skin. It doesn’t bother me – especially here, where I’ve been expecting it. I was more frustrated by a couple of reviews of The Museum of Broken Memories, which casually dismissed the graphics as not good because they weren’t animated or 3D. The graphics were a lot of work on that one, and they do a lot of things that aren’t very common. I have no problem with people hating them, or saying the approach didn’t work for them, but I was bothered by people not looking beyond basic categorization. But then a number of people pointed out that they did get it and did like it (especially the collages, which were so important to me), so I was relieved.

I point this out not to try to earn sympathy points, but to show a real problem about how we think about game graphics. A lot of games that I thought looked fantastic were totally trashed in the press. And while I have thick skin, not everyone else does. I remember Verena being rather insecure about how people would react to Desert Bridge. So this makes me wonder: how many indie artists have thrown away their work because of trollish or barely thought-through criticism? Sure, any real artist will always start working again (I know Verena certainly would) but we are only human, and this type of doubt can eat away at you. Unless you are a megalomaniac like me, that is. Yes. Megalomania helps.

Maybe I should repost that old essay about the evolution of computer game graphics. Not that it will make a difference, but hey – some people might enjoy it.

Anyway, back to Gregory Weir. He’s just released a flash game called I Fell in Love With the Majesty of Colors and it is very, very fascinating. I haven’t found all the endings yet, but this game is exactly the kind I was imagining when I talked about making “short games” (as in short stories) years ago. Only that, as insane as I may be, I couldn’t have come up with a touching game about a Lovecraftian creature reaching up for balloons from the depths of the sea… definitely recommended. And when you’re done you can listen to some Lovecraftian Christmas music.

In Greece, the riots continue, as they should. As for the violence – more and more solid evidence has surfaced that a lot of it is caused not by evil terrorists, but by police provocateurs. Yep: the really dangerous people in the demonstrations, the guys with the hoods… are policemen. This government needs to fall. Badly.

I’m trying to figure out what I can do to help support this struggle. If I was there, I would be in the streets, but a protestor more or less wouldn’t really make much of a difference. Maybe there’s a way of drumming up some support and spreading information around here. If I wasn’t so uncomfortable with German (yes, it’s a native tongue, but I can’t express myself as well in it as in English; it’s just cumbersome), I’d organize some kind of public meeting. Maybe I will anyway. Something more tangible would also be good, but I don’t know what.

Hmmm.