stross, to (v.)

Everybody has opinions: I have them, you have them. And we are all told from the moment we open our eyes, that everyone is entitled to his or her opinion. Well, that’s horsepuckey, of course. We are not entitled to our opinions; we are entitled to our informed opinions. Without research, without background, without understanding, it’s nothing. It’s just bibble-babble. It’s like a fart in a wind tunnel, folks.

– Harlan Ellison

Every now and then I realize we don’t have good words for certain concepts or behaviours – but rarely does the chance present itself for the creation of a new word to fit that gap in the language.  But today is such a day! And so I proudly present several new words which you can start using immediately:

to stross (verb)

Etymology: From Charles Stross, writer, who dismissed the entirety of science fiction on television without ever having seen any of it.

  1. To make sweeping judgements about a matter of which one has no knowledge whatsoever.
  2. To defend said judgements by overgeneralizations and arguments that are either untrue or unrelated.
  3. To dismiss works of fiction based on their use of poetic license in matters of physics or other aspects of science, esp. when said works are greatly admired by groups or individuals with considerably greater knowledge of physics or science than the strosser.

Examples:

  1. “It was clear that Bloom had never read one of King’s novels, so he was just strossing.”
  2. “His arguments were so unrelated to actual fact that after a while we came to the conclusion that he hadn’t even bothered to read the Wikipedia entry on the subject, and was actually strossing.”
  3. “He strossed Babylon 5, but the people at NASA were huge fans.”

strossian (adjective)

Etymology: see stross (v.)

  1. Having properties that indicate strossing behaviour.

Example:

  1. “This kind of strossian dismissal of an entire artform can only lead to a suffocation of art and creativity.”

strosser (noun)

Etymology: see stross (v.)

  1. One who strosses regularly.
  2. One currently engaged in strossing behaviour.

Example:

  1. “He says he hates it with a passion and then it turns out he’s never even seen a single episode of it. And he thinks all those other shows are exactly the same, too. He’s a real strosser, I’m telling you.”

I hope you can see the wonderful potential of these words. And the beauty of language is that it can always be expanded: strossful, strosslike, unstrossing, etc. The possibilities are limitless!

Update: It has been pointed out that “to stross” is potentially more elegant if it can also be used with an object, so the third example has been modified. Do feel free to use the word in other forms as well, though: we do not subscribe to a prescriptive understanding of grammar (or dictionaries).

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11 Comments

  1. Everybody strosses. I’m pretty sure I’ve strossed on numerous occasions, particularly movies. Definitely in movies. Prime example: The Borne series. Sounds like a good story, looks like good action, but I still don’t want to watch it. It might have something to do with me coming in to one in the middle and hearing something like, “Even the number of stairs can be important to a plan.” And then seeing him sneak around like he’s the lovechild of James Bond and Solid Snake. That and I think the amnesia had something to do with it. Couple of other things, but I simply lost interest for some reason and I can’t place why.

  2. Sounds like a good story, looks like good action, but I still don’t want to watch it.

    Ah, but all you’re saying is that it doesn’t quite manage to hold your attention. That’s not the same as now proclaiming “all the Bourne movies are shit” or “I hate all action movies.”

  3. Jakob

     /  October 18, 2009

    Wonder what “strossing” is in swedish, “strossar” perhaps? Nevertheless, it surely will be useful!

  4. Ah, I see. Okey-doke, then.

    What about my hatred of Romanian techno? I’ve heard all of one song, and I think we all know it: the Numa Numa song. I hate the genre because I’ve been forced to listen to it by my sister, with my mother’s consent, more times than one particular item or sentence in a single lecture from my mother.

  5. Jonas, this is both hilarious and wonderful. I’m starting to use them today!

  6. Museum's Guard

     /  October 19, 2009

    This is a work of art! I’d stick it to the face of every critic in the world (and actually to everyone’s face; we are endlessly making judgements about things). I should frame it and hang it on the wall.

    Anyway, “used without object” = intransitive, right?

  7. Evil Roda

     /  October 19, 2009

    I am definitely using this word.
    I will look for every opportunity in every story or essay I write, and every sentence I speak, and fucking use it. And nobody will know what it means, because it’s not in any dictionary! I am so malevolent!
    Everybody will become so confused, they will run around in circles until they are exhausted! Once everybody is too weak to fight back, I will take over the world! *evil laugh*

  8. PAK

     /  October 19, 2009

    This verb could be transitive as well as intransitive. With definition 1. you could say something like “he strossed Babylon 5” or “he strosses new films with wanton abandon.” This would be somewhat more elegant than using the “strosses about +” construction over and over.

  9. This verb could be transitive as well as intransitive. With definition 1. you could say something like “he strossed Babylon 5″ or “he strosses new films with wanton abandon.” This would be somewhat more elegant than using the “strosses about +” construction over and over.

    True. I shall revise it tomorrow.

  10. Sebastian

     /  October 20, 2009

    I am quite content with strossing everything containing Clive Owen and that awful Australian in Gladiator. What’s his name again. Ah well, must have strossed it.

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